Babies…

So, I’ve been thinking. About my blog. About life. About… a lot of things. I’ve been thinking about how I really don’t like living here. I despise this town. I don’t know why, but it might be because I know that sometime in the near-ish future, Josh and I will be leaving {that day can’t come soon enough} and hopefully it’s back to my home town… which is like 30 minutes away from here. haha really, they aren’t that far away from each other, but they are SO DIFFERENT! It’s weird.
Anyways, the title of this post is “Babies”, and I have been thinking about that. Josh and I have been having a hard time. A really hard time. I don’t blog about it because I don’t want people to think that I am really whiny {is that spelt right?} But I feel like we are stuck in a hole that we can’t dig ourselves out of. It’s so ridiculous. We are desperate to have a baby. It’s unbelievable how it consumes our every day thoughts, and pretty much everything that we talk about. Well, it’s mostly me, but Josh listens really well and nods his head a lot.
Let me give you a teeny tiny background story {I briefly mentioned this here}:
Once upon a time there was a missionary named Josh Larsen. He was walking on the streets of Scranton, PA after a blizzard with his mission companion and slipped on the ice and hit his head. Josh became disoriented and tried to tell his companion what had happened, but instead walked into the road. Unfortunately, there was a car going way too fast for the conditions and hit the missionary. Josh was hit in the knees and went face first into the windshield, then the car stopped really fast and Josh flew out of the car a very far distance {that I can’t remember} and landed head first on the road. Thankfully Josh’s mission companion had the right frame of mind to give him a blessing and then immediately got Josh the help he needed.
Because of that incident, Josh has bad health. All the bones in his face were pretty much broken and as a result his sinus cavities were damaged. He gets sinus infections like every other week and if they aren’t treated right away then it turns into bronchitis, and then he gets pneumonia. It’s really sad.
Because of all of this lovely-ness {now I am getting back to the point} we have been having a hard time. And because Josh changed jobs and didn’t have insurance for a really long time he hasn’t been able to get the help that he needs to take care of his sinus infections and he has been really sick. So sick that he has lost like 30-40 pounds. He is 6’4 and weights 159lbs. It’s not natural, and quite frankly he looks really scary. Josh collapsed a few weeks ago, just passed right out on the cement floor of the basement. Of course, silly me, I thought he was pretending when I walked into my room with my sister-in-law to grab something and poked and sort of kicked Josh with my foot. When he wasn’t waking up I started to freak out, and I threw up onto his back and he hit his head again on the cement floor. He woke up. I cried a lot. And he called out to work for a few days because he was so sick.
Now, I think that it is time for me to get the whole POINT of this post.
Josh and I are taking a break from baby making. We will… ya know… *wink wink* but not to have a baby. Josh needs to get better, and his insurance needs to kick in and then we can get back on track.
It’s been a weird few weeks, and I feel really ridiculous about all of this. I don’t know what my Heavenly Fathers plans are for me, or for Josh and I as a couple anymore. I feel lost and confused and it’s a little frustrating. But I know that things will work out the way that they are supposed to, and that I should just be patient. I am soooo not patient, though. It’s really not one of my strong points. :o)

Anyways. That is my life story right now! Sorry it’s so super long!

Have a good night! :D