Moving

It seems like everybody is moving these days.

My mom moved to Idaho.
My sister moved to Yakima.
I am moving to Utah.
And now my daddy is going to live and travel in his motor home.

February was a difficult month. My mom was given that job in Idaho, and she took it. She moved two weeks ago, and is enjoying it there. I miss my mom a lot, and I wish that she was closer. I also know that my mom did what she felt she needed to do to have a better life. I just wish that my parents were able to work it out.

My dad has always been a gruff person. I have only ever seen my dad cry once in my life, and that was when I was fifteen and we found out that my mother had breast cancer. I remember him crying, his head on my mother’s lap repeating over and over again, “what are we going to do?” Seeing that made my heart break.
Last night, my dad called me just to talk. It was really great until he started to cry and tell me how much he misses my mom. How lonely he feels. How much he wishes that things could change. He wants her back, and he hates being all alone. He told me of his plans to move, he said he can’t stay in Gig Harbor anymore {understandably}, and he wants to go down to California where it’s warm. He also mentioned something about possibly traveling the United States, which would be really awesome.
I am feeling so sad today. I wish that there was something I could do to help my dad. It also makes me have second thoughts about moving because I don’t want my dad to be all alone here. The thought of it is breaking my heart all over again.

I am now starting to understand why children are told that their parents being separated or divorced is not their fault. Even though I am in my twenties, I can’t help but feel like maybe I could have done something to prevent my parents from separating. Maybe if I had tried harder to keep them together, this wouldn’t have happened. I know that I can’t think that way because I am an adult … but it doesn’t stop me from thinking those thoughts. It’s a weird feeling to have going through my mind, but it’s there. I hope that it goes away soon.

This is my sad little story today.
I am going to watch some shows and snuggle my obese cat. She makes me smile. So does my other non-obese cat. :o)